Rebecca's View;

“Hello you”, The “you” of course affected by the world- Think about it, what part of you is most affected? Is there a part, or are you in a whole affected?

In quest of answer to this argument, I spoke to my adorable friend Rebecca Asaro.Rebecca is 21 years old, and attends Mount Saint Mary’s, and is majoring in Human Services. Like most college students, and people of this age we tend to get caught in this “in between” stage of adult and child. 

This power struggle is filled with many pressures, but some of us may lean on the world to help guide us- but is this helpful? Does this guide us in the correct direction of who we really are, and are we fully developed or are we still developing?

I found this very short article about college to be very interesting, and it spoke loudly about what and how an individual can use “college” to find who they really are.

http://www.empowernetwork.com/empoweredbyyou/index.php/college-and-what-it-really-teaches-you/

As stated by Rebecca her self,

“I feel like we shouldn't focus on the media so much, because in reality, celebrities don't do much for us. It's amazing how we are always curious about their gossip, or what's going on in their current lives. I'm not sure if we're looking for someone to look up too.”

This is the most interesting statement, because it most certainly make us wonder-Are we looking for someone to look up to, or do we need someone to model how we want to be or act? Rebecca thinks that the media and society affect most individuals, how can we not be affected. She specifically touches upon the area’s of fashion, self image, dieting, the tools that keep society and the media connected to us, intimate relationships, and she has even included ideas of her family and culture to help explain how she, herself is affected and her views on this particular situation.

Today, Rebecca’s fashion interest is greatly influenced, as she says; “Fashion trends are constantly changing”. This can be both positive and or negative. In Rebecca’s eye’s, it can give some people reason to worry about their image and make them anxious or seriously self conscious or it can also do the exact opposite and make someone have the urge and desire to dress up and feel good about themselves.

Possibly the road of technology has changed the speed we desire to receive information as well as responses, this includes within ourselves. When the media as well as society shows us fast changing fashion trends and changes we expect or want to change with them in the same speed, sometimes this leads individuals to take and make unhealthy routes and choices. Rebecca feels that the media and society have impacted people for several years, but she feels our level of technology has greatly increased the ways people are affected as well as how much they are.

 Many people, like Rebecca feel that technology and social media over crowd our world. If they weren’t we would possibly be more accepting of ourselves and have a greater desire to learn about who we are without any influence. Today, we do not have a choice to escape the influencing-crowd, so finding out who you are, or who we are has become extremely challenging. Rebecca feels that it is supper easy to become distracted, if it isn’t by sight, it’s by sound.

With that sad if we were blind, deaf, and handicapped- in some way, we may still be impacted. Technology and social media affect us all, and then we affect each other as a society. It is a pattern that seems impossible to break.

Rebecca’s understanding of all of this is innocent. If we are all so strongly surrounded by each other how can someone not be influenced, easily. It is almost natural and most certainly bound to happen. When we really think about how much time we have learned to focus on the media and society, it’s amazing. And Rebecca, feels shocked, because she feels that what most of us focus our energy on doesn’t give us anything positive or helpful. But, she feels it ever so interesting that people will always and do find an amazing amount of curiosity the world around us offers.

Rebecca does not feel that her relationships intimately have been impacted by society or by the media but possibly there are other parts of her that have been affected that have guided her to the individual’s she has had intimate relationships with, as well as the pieces of her that she includes in her relationship that have been touched by the world. She wonders if the gossip in magazines and TV about celebrities has made her standards in relationships change, as well as the expectations of her partner.

Rebecca most fond memory of her being impacted by the media and society was when she was, around 16 or 17 years old. She experimented with different diet pills, and diet trends to change her image. Over time, she learned that she just needed to aim her priorities and mind to being health and not to her self-image. She learned to accept her body and a healthier way of eating and exercising and felt she was ok if she did or didn’t loose any weight.

Although, this particular instance took simply “time” and “experience” in order for Rebecca to learn and find her own place of acceptance, she still find herself wondering what it is that makes it so hard for people to just accept themselves. As stated by Rebecca herself,

“I will admit sometimes I will check celebrities' gossip and news. I wonder what makes us like this. I know some of it is because we're distracted with this technology and "keeping up with the world", we're always competing against each other to have the best things.”

Although this is a struggle that most of us may deal with for a long time. Family, Tradition and Culture still have and play a significant role in our lives and for how and why we think of the world in the ways that we do. As for Rebecca, she is a loving, beautiful, and kindhearted girl. She comes from a very loving and close-knit family, they have faced many struggles together but they choose and have chose to let those struggles make them closer. Growing up in America, Rebecca feels she has indefinitely become “Americanized” she knows this because of her background, and her Italian and Brazilian parents. Understanding other values, and traditions from her family visits to Brazil for example, has given her much to debate and knowledge.

Although she does keep up with the latest trends, enjoys feeling and looking good like most of us do, she also has insecurities. She has been insecure about her hair and her weight since she was 13 years old. But this is a battle that we all face within ourselves, it is difficult to find pure love within ourselves when we only know how to compare or relater to others and are constantly surrounded by others.

Rebecca feels blessed because she has such a large and loving family, she feels honored to be an Asaro and proud for all of the values, traditions and morals that her family has raised her with. The fact that she can be happy with the smallest things in life makes her feel content and I am proud to know Rebecca and her family.

Talking to Rebecca about this, she addressed the best advice, we need to take the energy that we focus on everyone and everything else and apply it to ourselves the world would be much more peaceful; I could not agree more. Threw Rebecca’s beautiful eyes, she looks for good in the world, and chooses her distractions instead of letting them choose her. She chooses to see the scenery change during the seasons and things of that nature.

The best person to talk to about this topic hands down has to be Rebecca. She feels that if anyone has the ability to travel it would change his or her world. She feels that her environments negatively affect her in many forms, but the most powerful positive way that she was affected was by helping others less fortunate in other parts of the world. That is why I chose to interview Rebecca, It is so important when thinking about this topic to consider the whole world. Many may state “the world”, but the size of that world is different to each person. It may mean an individual’s world, or an individual’s country.

Rebecca is the smartest and one of he strongest people I know. She knows her battles, but she always chooses them wisely and she never misses a moment when she knows she has to work on them! We should all learn a little from Rebecca.

Picture Credits: 

"Hands of Floating Hearts"; http://kriscarr.com/wp-content/uploads/selflove.jpg

"Self Heart Photo"; http://journeybeyonddivorce.com/wp-content/uploads/self-love-exercise.jpg 

"Rebecca"; http://www.thedivasblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/rebecca.jpg 

Is It Possible?

Although this post may not be "interviewing" anyone specifically, I wanted to review all that we have covered in my last several posts. It would also be quite difficult to interview a 19^th month old baby boy on the move. In discussing several ways that the media and society affect us isn't it evident that we need to be effected and we need to imitate in order to grow? 

Being a mom has been by far the best job I have ever had, but discussing the topic of an individuals ability to be influenced has taken over my mind in more ways than imaginable on September 9th, 2011, 19 months ago; Because at this time I had my son. Most of us may think having a child would consist of being 50% mommy and 50% daddy. Although he may have these qualities looks wise, he is certainly his own person-or so I think?

My question is, "Do I have to be a Super-Mom, or have Super-Mom abilities to raise my baby to find "him" without influence?" Or do our children have to have supper abilities to fight the media and society ?-If so where do I purchase this? Can I? or do they already have it in them?

Watching the way he has developed into his own self has been the best gift, but also quite interesting and although I am the one along with his daddy to teach him all he knows he has taught us a bunch as well.

At this time my son is a very active healthy baby boy, he was an early walker and an early babbler. Although he is not just yet speaking sentences he most certainly shocks us with the things that he does say. For instance, last week he learned to climb onto our coffee table and then from there onto the top of couch when I turned around to scold him in fear he would get hurt when he ever so quickly jumped off the couch and climbed back onto the floor as if he never climbed at all. When I shouted “Jayden” and proceeded to explain how climbing on couches is bad and dangerous in a way in which he can explain in his young age, he propped his hand on his hip, leaned his body weight to the right of his leg (the same side to where his hand was propped on his hip) and with his left arm straightened out and his index finger up the words “NO NO NO!” came out of my sons mouth.

At this age for all of you who do not know, this is a tough age. He is just whining into as many of you may have heard of the “terrible two’s”. He is so active you should never take your eyes off of him, and they begin to speak words but they understand more than they speak. With this particular incident I immediately froze and had to hide my laughter because it was hilarious. At the same time all I could think in stun was- “Where the hell did he learn that?”.

He does watch tv, but to learn anything at that age they would have to witness a specific action or hear a specific word several times.

Just as when we read books, as well as when he “reads” books on his own. I always hold my finger over each word I read to him so in the future when we begin to teach him to read the words look familiar with the way that they sound, sometimes I find him with an open book baby-babbling with hi finger over all the words.

What I am drawing is that for any and most children they watch, observe and mimic in order to learn. But what if they didn’t, what if there was some sort of experiment where a child was not surrounded by anyone to be influenced what would they be like. This brought me to remember the experiment about the boy they found in the woods whom was raised by monkeys.

There are several incidents such as this, for those of you who do not know what I am referring to here are some links:

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/feral-children-children-social-development--622128

http://theweek.com/article/index/235216/6-children-raised-by-animals

So here is where my main point is, how do we analyze such an idea when it seems natural for a human to compare, mimic, copy and or imitate whoever is in their environment from birth or at any young age.

Is this something that is possible to live or grow without?

What about celebrities and all we have covered in earlier posts- do we use gossip about celebrities and such more than just for our own motivation?- In some way do we feel connected to grow or analyze our own sense of self?

We all know how hard it is to break a pattern that we are adjusted to especially when it is something that has become part of our daily routine. And on the other side of this, we all understand how difficult it is to start a new routine, like dieting or exercising.

So what would a day/or your day be like trying to not compare, mimic and you tried to be “you” without any influence from the outside world-is it possible?

Here is some information on what a child’s development process is at 19 months old. Please keep in mind, that children are different, that includes their growth and development processes;

http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/growth/curiosity-independence/

http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/19-month-old.aspx

 Also with all of this in mind, there are a lot of examples to consider when digesting this. Many of you may or may not have heard of the subliminal messages that are placed into children’s movies. The most famous have been Disney- what impact does this have on our children- and does this prove the possibility that we are trained to be influenced by the media and society at a very young age?

http://listverse.com/2009/05/10/top-10-hidden-images-found-in-cartoons/

As for my son, I will constantly think about all of these ideas, and the ways in which he grows into "him". How much do I affect who he is and how much does the outside world, is it possible for me to help him grow with confidence and pride and the strength to find himself without any outside voice or action impacting him? 
While also think about this remember that there are positives as well as negative effects of an individual learning and growing within with all that surrounds them. I also wonder, what is it like for a child's development level and speed with an older sibling and how does this topic change or effect them-is it different? 

Picture Credits:
 "Super Dad and Wonder Mom"; http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg0wvyGmyX1qdwhrx.png
"Photograph of super hero baby"; http://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/6005836/il_fullxfull.269515580.jpg
"Young Brain"; http://pactprevention.org/news/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/youngbrain.png
"world-eye"; http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/29272-bigthumbnail.jpg
"World think like I do"; http://s471.photobucket.com/user/besb00007/media/cartoon-self-centered-world.jpg.html"
"you change world by being you";http://nonajordan.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Wave-Change-World.001.png

Teacher Perspective!

While I continue to post and search my mind and others to contemplate and babble about the idea of the individual being affected by outside influences; I thought about students.
When we think of the psychological development and growth process a person's minds we are sometimes quick to assume with the impact of our "words" that this process ends somewhere near high school graduation? Would you believe this to be true?

When we think about a toddler it is known that they babble and mimic our adult body language, and verbal language to gauge and learn about what they can and cannot control while there brains are taking in as much as possible.

As every person grows, and experiance different stages in their life, there thought and emotional process adjusts and may possibly even change? Most people do mimic, or are afraid to stand out in the crow; is this because we are all comfortable with fitting in? Or is this because we could possibly be still in the prime stages of our brains growing?
With so much of this to think about, I was interested to finding out what the effects of outside world was like to a student with learning disabilities. Although, interviewing a student may be interesting I thought it would be different to get the perspective of a professional and someone with a lot of experience in this department.

I went to Adelphi Universities Learning Resource Program, and sat with a Senior Educator, Mr. Glenn Suchy. Glenn has had much experience in the teaching world, especially with learning disabled students. In today’s world any sort of disability is not normally presented in the media. This would or could make accepting having any form of a disability difficult, aside from all of the major adjustments one may have to make in order to find a comfortable place in life.
Glenn, has had teaching experience in more than just learning disabled, and he really enjoys it he also enjoys his time off in the summers. In his years of college he had the experience to student teach as part of receiving his degree with many different types of students in many different teaching settings. Since having the experience out of college he feels that the learning styles have completely changed and have bettered in several ways no matter how a kid is influenced by the media.

The media has brought about several changes in the world. He feels that if we eliminated some forms of technology in the learning area of a child’s life each student’s would possibly benefit from school more. He feels that at a college and high school level a student’s brain is still in the prime stage of growth and has not fully adapted its senior growth level. With this understanding, why would technology be of any form of help, College and high school level students are missing out on several important areas of knowledge.

While discussing this with Glenn, he recalled upon a conversation he had with his cousin whom is a retierd police officer and now teaches at a college about his experience and knowledge in the criminal and police force. Glenn wasn’t surprised to find that, his cousin stated a good majority of his students state they want to be in that area or field based on what they see on t.v such as shows like CSI. Although, many programs do not offer internships or shadowing the fact that a high school or college level student fails to see the reality of a job or lifestyle and blends this fantasy idea with a broadcasted show is scary.

Glenn feels that if we possibly implemented critical think lessons, or classes into our schools curriculum along with possible studies of what the reality of entertainment t.v or any form of the media, even advertising students may have a different perspective of them selves. This topic is so interesting because, when we discussed students self growth time periods we found it interesting that many of Glenn’s current students, and students in the past were comfortable with the ideas that they had learning disabilities. Where as most in this age, would feel standing out in a crowd or accepting the idea of being different to be challenging.

This was a interview that made me, personally question a lot. When does a student fully accept themselves and/or find themselves comfortable and accepting of who they are without any influence of media, family or friends? Do we ever find a place in or lives were we can find that or see that? Or does this come in stages?
Glenn found that the majority of students he knows are greatly impacted visually, when we think about watching commercials it’s more about what we see than what is being said. So how does that affect blogging?

To find out more about Adelphi Universities Learning resource program, visit Adelphi’s web page;http://academics.adelphi.edu/lrp/

"Basketball Coaching aside, this is a Life Coaching moment"

There are so many ways to be effected by eachother, poisitvie or negative, and no matter how someone is effected we all seem to have these moments where we look into, up to or at eachother and wonder how green the grass is on the other side - and we all get to that point at some time or another. 

There are many ways a person can be negativly influenced, but there are many ways a person can fight those influences and remain positive. With that in mind; I spoke with my distant cousin and inspiration to many, Phil Weber. 

Many of you may know Phil, from the New York Knicks or the Pheonix Suns basketball team where you would find him coaching. 

Phil's home town is Northport, NY and is a graduate from Long Island Lutheran High School. He ran the basketball team to the champinship where he developed a great passion for sports and pursued this field very seriously. He continued to play basketball in college at North Carolina University, which led him to his first coaching job at Florida State University. In 1999, Phil was asked to coach the Pheonix Suns in Arizona following that he went on the the New York Knicks.

Although, there was a long period of time that I was not around Phil to build a close relationship with him and the rest of my family on his side I knew enough to know I had to include him on this blogging journey of mine. He is a very poisitive but extremly deteremind man with very different views on life that other people should live by.

For starters, Phil is looked up to by so many, and spent some time in the public eye - so it would only be obvious to ask him for his opinions in regards to how and what to do in a paticular power struggle between finding ourselves in a world so impacted by media and society. 

I remeber Phil having a strong mindset, He is the perfect person to coach. Lets take a few steps back from being a basketball coach and view him as a life coach. I say this because he told me his opinion on what the world faces in terms of the media and how it effects society. What he told me has a different spin from some of the others I have interviewed.

Phil takes the idea of media and technology being a huge driving force in changing the future of our children. He describes this thought with great concern. He felt very strongly about the younger generations parenting with the growth of technology, especially because in his eyes he sees great loss of connection.

The only way to live up to the negative and stay true to yourself is to gain knowlegde, described in his own words; 

"Understanding what technology is doing to our society is such an advantage if you understand that simple fact. Why? Because now you can stand out so easily. Instead of a text, call. Instead of an email, write a heartfelt hand written letter.... Be anti- technology and see what happens to your world . Use all the good aspects of technology but understand the need to not let it run your life and take away all the most important and basic principles of life.

Hard work, persistence, true relationships based on caring for others and continual improvement which should be the mantra of every aspect of our lives."

Phil is a very positive person, whom always looks a light in only a positive way, to him there is no other way- this topic is something he seems to be very passionate about and believes in all of the words he says. He simply believes, "If we activly think positively, we will actively live positively and that attitude will spread". Phil explains in order to change these bad habits, or correct the parts of ourselves that have been effected is for starters to realize what is helping us to become weak, when we realize what it is we can therefore attack and change.

What would our world be like? To  make things even more simple, what would we be ourselves, what would we think, act, say, desire? 

Most importantly it is clear to state that if we change ourselves, we can and will change the world- What would be your first change? 

My favorite video of Phil, to give you some insight on the mind set that phil chooses to walk with everyday! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-sQLLpT8TU

...a story that lead me to Project Survive

 

When discussing the many issues that media and society affect, we tend to run into some people with common concerns. As well as the ways we remedy them. I found one such person, and we mutually inspired each other.

 Today, I would like to introduce you to a new set of eyes; A story that may spark interest in the battles that people fight constantly. This story should untangle and help you to creatively think about your own roads to a peaceful life, I know this because I am personally involved.

  

    Three years ago, I transferred colleges with a new mindset and outlook on my future. Although, I was not as "confident" as everyone else, and had several fears and insecurities. I struggled to find my place at my new school, and there were times I wanted to give up- but I wouldn't. I switched my major several times, adjusted my schedule many times, and tried including different hobbies and exercises into my days just to feel more comfortable. All of these things can definitely help find a more comfortable place, and move things along easier but it doesn’t completely solve any problems.

  

Although, it took a few years after high school to figure myself out, dabbling in a class-or two; when I made the decision to transfer I was ready to be a full time student and apply myself 100%. Three years into transferring, I am in my last semester of junior year as a communications major anxious to graduate and see what more the world has to offer.

With dreams of owning my own salon and spa, I transferred into my new school as a business management major. I was getting by until I had to take economics and accounting. This is when the idea turned into a nightmare. I thought I was on another planet, reading and studying a different language and my professors were aliens. This is where I met my good friend, Nicole. I struggled on tests, where  Nicole seemed to ace every exam. 

I quickly learned Nicole seemed to have it all together because she was an accounting major, this was her thing! I was upset that I wasn’t doing well, but was determined and did not want to give up- After all, owning a salon and spa does not require being an accounting or economics genius.

Nicole, I and another classmate started to meet up to study, Nicole was helpful but the whole finance topic was clearly not for me. There was definitely a greater reason for me being in class with Nicole though. We became good friends, and ended up learning a lot about each other. Turns out, Nicole and I both experienced several battles as a child that tied our friendship together differently.

Nicole became one of the first people I expressed many of my own personal hurts to. These were hurts that I experienced, that I found easy to discuss until I started to learn that my feelings were not directly connected to my words. As our relationship changed I started to view Nicole in a different light, I saw her as a confident, bold, and powerful woman. She appeared to be an open book about many of the negative issues she had to face in her life, she never let it weigh her down!

Nicole’s attitude made me crave the same mindset- This is when my mind started to boil.

College is definitely one of those crucial growth periods for many of us. I took several courses, some that were boring, some that interested me throughout the major changes and schedule switches. There were also several classes that moved me. All of this helped me to recognize all the areas of self, I needed to work on.

With so much negative in the world. Why battle it, why find issues and conflicts, why waste the energy and time? I battled this for a long time. I have also had several discussions with Nicole about the battles I faced as well as the ones she faced. While there are moments in everyone's lives that you need to vent, or need the support from someone who completely understands you and your experiences this does not always help, it also as we all know does not take away the bad.

SO WHAT WILL? 

Technology, is growing in more and more ways. There are several positives as well as negatives about it, but everyone definitely finds a means to vent and share there experiences via internet. My question is;

DOES IT HELP?

There are some issues that completely need venting places. I for one found a specific area. Sexual abuse. Personally, I was sexually abused as a child. I am still in the midths of healing. As time goes on, I learn there are more and more conflicts about it  that seem to come up randomly at different moments in my life. Mutually, Nicole and I both agree there are only certain moments in ones life where a person feels completely ready to talk- and we mean talk, being connected to your words.

I for one have learned that child sexual abuse, is a specific issues that allows a child's brain to chemically create coping mechanisms that allow the hurt and effects to remain with you for long periods of time. A child's brain is not fully developed, so when it is affected by trauma it develops methods to "cope", so it can correctly continue growing. This helps most children to put issues such as sexual abuse, on the back burner. Which is something that I did. This is also an issue, like many others that children deal with and have trouble understanding. They are not always sure as to what it is, or how it affects them.

Personally, I distanced myself from many moments in my life I would have enjoyed because of this hurt. I had to carry it most of my life alone, or so I felt that I did. I did not choose to feel it, I also did not know how to fight it, talk about it or deal with it. For me, this was also something that was tough to discuss around my family. I had guilt, because it wasn't anything anyone could have controlled.

With all of this, there had to be other ways  to deal with issues that are difficult to discuss. There had to be other ways to fight what society and the  media not only influence but shuns. That is when an astonishing idea hit me, a remarkable innovative journey that I decided to invite Nicole on with me. Together we hope to inspire others  just as we have inspired each other. 

There are many ways that we can fight the bad, and no one has to or should have to feel they are alone. Together Nicole and I, have created one of several causes to come. We call it "Project Survive". 

As this cause is still in the process of being built we hope that many people find a place to build friendships and areas where they feel a sense of connection. We were not only inspired each other in different ways,  but we allowed our story to empower the cause we created...Project Survive.

With project survive we hope to inspire many, and fill a world that at times may feel hopeless with all the faith we have in our hearts to change the world. Although we are only at the very beginning building our cause, we know that every small bit helps- therefore, "one piece" of our cause will soon lead to greater PEACE...

With everyday life we are faced with several challenges without asking or looking or it- with that said I hope that you take mine and Nicole's story and use it as a guiding example for your own daily lives. Whenever you seek negative- instantly try to see the good... Barley passing accounting did "nothing" for me at the moment, but today is the leading reason for many of the positive mountains I climb, without that moment I would not be here today! 

 Help Nicole and I by Adding our page on facebook, it will be completely up and running sufficiently in do-time!  https://www.facebook.com/nic.cie.31?fref=ts 

 For any info. or further questions you can reach: https://www.facebook.com/lotusflowerproject?ref=hl

For other pages for supporting info., 

Child Sexual Abuse:

https://www.facebook.com/ASAFEPLACETOTELL

A great book that has personally helped me, that has also been passed along to others; 

"A Courage to Heal"-Written by, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

                                   

 Here us the books facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Courage-to-Heal/107438309286075?fref=ts

Peace sign Picture From; http://www.jennifers-deals.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/peace.jpg

Reaching Hands Picture From; http://blog.firespring.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/How-to-Encourage-Volunteers-to-Raise-Money.jpg

Gears Heart Picture From; http://www.companiesandcauses.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/heart_cogs.jpg

Courage to Heal Picture From; http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/34/Courage_to_heal.jpg